Preparations and excitement all around!

It is true that Mrs Partridge had gasped when she had seen Aunt Mildred's suggestions for the tea party - that is after she had found her glasses and spent about half an hour trying to read Aunt Mildred's writing. 'I suppose she learnt to write rather a long time ago, and writing giant letters when you are very small must be tricky, especially with such a large pencil!' Mrs Partridge felt sympathy for Aunt Mildred's efforts but was truely shocked at the recipe selection. 'I've never even heard of Aloo Gobi, I remember lovely sticky baklava from our holiday in Greece all those years ago, but to make it myself, Oh Dear, Oh Dear, what a to do!'

'I don't suppose we need more than one pomegranate, a seed per gnome will be more than enough, and peanut butter, how do I serve that to the gnomes?! After a few days of careful thinking and planning, Mrs Partridge caught the bus to the supermarket. She wore a straw hat with a blue ribbon for courage.

'Nothing like a hat for boosting ones morale' she had thought as she checked the angle of the brim in the mirror before she left. Between you and me, Aunt Mildred often made the same kind of comment about wearing a cape, of which of course, she had rather a large selection.

The gnomes were wondering what to bring Mrs Partridge as a gift at the tea party. Everyone was so very busy with the harvest that there wasn't a lot of time to even think. Hortensia's kitchen smelt of blackberry jam and apple sauce, blackcurrant cordial and drying crab apples. 'Can't remember a better year for blackberries Archie, and the cobnuts - just so firm and tasty! All that rain and sunshine has served us well!' Archibold had mumbled a crumbly sort of 'yes' as his mouth had been full of fresh apple pie at the time. Everyday he had been out from dawn to dusk gathering the harvest and extra supplies of wood for the fire.

'I've been thinking Hortie' Hortensia's eyebrow raised, sometimes Archibold's thoughts could lead to wild escapades. 'About Mrs Partridge's present, what she really needs and will never have experienced, is the benefits of Aunt Mildred's foot balm!' 'Oh Archie what a good idea!' and with that Hortensia took off her apron, put on her second best tweed jacket, kissed Archibold on the cheek and rushed out to speak with Aunt Mildred.

So that was that, Uncle Humperdinck had found a huge jar (for the gnomes that is) and Aunt Mildred had spent a whole day becoming increasingly hot and cross, locked in her kitchen making up up an enormous quantity of her famous foot balm. She had refused all offers of help, 'even you Hortensia, when the time's right I'll tell you the recipe but till then I'll manage on my own.' Secretly Hortensia had been relieved, even talking through the closed door to Aunt Mildred had made her feel very faint, 'the fumes, Archie, the fumes, I don't know how they sleep at night.'

The tea party was just a week away and preparations were well on the way at Mrs Partridge's. She had been trying out all kinds of recipes and even taken more furniture from the old doll's house to make a seating area for the gnomes. 'Just so lovely to see it being used at last, they can take it home afterwards if they want any of the furniture!' She thought that she hadn't felt so happy for a very long time. 'Sad that I can't tell anyone about the gnomes' she sighed, 'but there we are, not everything makes sense to everybody!' and with that she settled down to watch the rugby on television. Mrs Partridge liked the rugby 'such handsome young men, and so brave too!'

The delights of a tea time invitation and exotic possibilities ......

'Very strange' muttered Mrs Partridge, 'No accounting for what they will or won't like!' Mrs Partridge had decided that the best course of action was to invite Aunt Mildred and Hortensia and few of the other gnomes to tea.

'What to serve them that they will like - that's the problem...nothing too strange either....' She remembered the jellies that she had made in thimbles for the mid summer revels, 'very polite they certainly were, but there is no getting around the fact that they didn't fancy eating the jellies at all.'

She sat down in the kitchen for a restorative cup of tea, and of course - as anyone would do on a late and warm summer's afternoon - fell asleep in her chair. Just considering the practicalities involved in having a tea party for gnomes - was turning out to be quite an exhausting prospect.

As soon as they were sure that Mrs partridge was sound asleep, proved by the gentle whistle and woo of her breathing as she dozed in her chair, Aunt Mildred and Hortensia crept into the kitchen through the open window where as usual, they had been resting under the geranium leaves in the window box. 'Very helpful that she mutters when she is worried about what to do, now we know how to help her decide what to cook!'

For ages and ages, Aunt Mildred had been reading the recipes in Mrs Partridge's cook books, especially on summer evenings. As soon as Mrs Partridge was happily watching television in the front room, Aunt Mildred would creep in and sit on the counter on an upturned egg cup, and read about all kinds of exotic foreign cooking.

Sometimes, it is true she had had to ask Archibold to help her lift a book from the shelf, and to turn the pages if it had been a particularly large book. Archibold never minded as he especially loved the large coloured pictures of foreign places that were the backgrounds for illustrating special dishes. Many an evening they decided, as Archibold frequently remarked, 'it's like all the benefit of taking a holiday but without any of the bother!'

'I've been waiting years to taste peanut butter Hortensia, now's my chance!' Aunt Mildred was struggling with Mrs Partridge's pencil as she wrote in somewhat wobbly letters on the bottom of Mrs Partridge's shopping list. 'Peanut butter sandwiches, hummus dip, aloo gobi, pomegranate seeds and then baklava for pudding! Oooo Hortensia I can't wait, what a treat it will be!' Hortensia smiled as she tried to help control the end of the pencil, Aunt Mildred's writing had become a little wild with excitement.

Hortensia wasn't sure about some of the suggestions as she had no idea what they might be, but after years of experience, thought it best to let Aunt Mildred enjoy the moment, after all an invitation to tea with a human was a most exceptional occasion!

Tea and a surprising decision ......

Mrs Partridge had come to a decision, 'No use trying to dissuade me My Dear,' she had told her son, 'I've made my mind up, you can have the house but I'm giving the wood and the farm to The Trust, that way it will be safe as a haven for everyone.' As we know, what she really meant was that the wood would continue to be a safe home for her friends the gnomes! Though this may sound a bit tough on Mrs Partridge's son, he too felt that the wood was a special place and was relieved that he wouldn't have to look after it on his own.

Mrs Partridge had made sure that even if the wood was managed as a nature reserve, that certain areas would be out of bounds to visitors. As she put it to Aunt Mildred over a morning cup of tea, 'No need to worry My Dear, think of all the new visitors and their dogs enjoying the peace of the wood - and imagine the benefits of a cafe!'

Mrs Partridge and Aunt Mildred had taken to sitting together for a morning cup of tea since the warm weather had arrived. Serving Aunt Mildred with a cup of tea had initially proved rather problematic. Mrs Partridge had tried filling an egg cup with tea, but could see that Aunt Mildred, however polite she was trying to be, was finding the experience of trying to sip hot tea from an egg cup rather daunting.

Then as she woke up one Saturday morning, she had what she thought was a brilliant idea. 'By Jingo, why haven't I thought of it before?' She had lept out of bed, put on her glasses and hobbled up to the attic. As she had pulled off the old sheet that covered the dolls house, Mrs Partridge had felt a sudden pang of sadness. 'I remember playing with it myself, always hoped that I would have grandchildren to enjoy it too one day, but goodness me, won't the gnomes find it useful?' She had fumbled about in the dainty kitchen and retrieved a miniature cup and saucer from the sideboard, 'just the ticket for Aunt Mildred' she had proclaimed as she rushed to wash and dress in time.

Well as you can imagine Aunt Mildred was shocked at the kindness of being presented with her very own cup and saucer. She had news for Mrs Partridge too, the gnomes were going to hold a meeting of the Council of Elders that very afternoon, 'and you are invited as our guest of honour!' Mrs Partridge was still for a moment, 'are you sure the others will want me to come to the meeting, to stay awake and be part of your Circle? ' For as we all know, most humans fall asleep when anywhere near a gnome.

Aunt Mildred was firm in her reply, 'we want to hear what you have planned in your very own words!' Aunt Mildred knew that the other gnomes of the Council wanted to thank Mrs Partridge and to give her a gift. She knew better than to mention this in advance, for as she said to Hortensia later,' she would never have agreed to come if she had known about the gift, far too embarrassing, best to surprise her!'

So that was that, Mrs Partridge went upstairs again to retrieve more useful items from the old dolls house to bring to the meeting as a gift, and the gnomes rushed about gathering bracken and moss to make into a soft cushion and nest for Mrs Partridge to sit in, so that she could be comfortable during the meeting.

'What a day Hortie,' Archibold had puffed, 'imagine the kindness of a human safe-guarding our future!' Hortensia had smiled, for she knew that a good heart surpasses all difference, and that old Mrs Partridge had a very good heart indeed.

Leap Frog Races and a picnic!

'Well today is the the day Hortie, hot or not it is time for the Leap Frog Races!' Archibold grinned at Hortensia to try and reassure her. Hortensia was packing a substantial picnic into several baskets and a  small cart, 'never too sure that I like race day Archie, such a messy activity and so much slime, still I suppose it is hot enough this year to enjoy swimming in the river afterwards!'

For the last week or so, for the sake of coolness, most of the gnomes of the Forest had taken to sleeping high up in their summer houses in the tree tops. Hortensia adored the roar of the leaves in the wind and even the gentlest of rustles brought news of the forest and music to her heart. 'Seems a shame to have to be at ground level when we could stay up here in the cool, still a summer picnic by the river is not be missed!'

The wild strawberries were gleaming red under their leaves as Hortensia and Archibold passed by and Hortensia quickly filled a basket with the cheerful berries, 'What a treat - oooh Archie look at Harriet' for Baby Harriet was sitting up in her nest in the cart giggling and smiling at a young blackbird that was perched next to her. 'Sometimes Archie, she makes me wonder what is going to happen next.' Harriet clapped her hands as the bird chirped, 'She is just hearing the latest news Hortie, nothing to worry about, and now the blackbirds can tell the rest of the forest about the races!'

Soon they were on their way again and as they passed by on the windy path down to the river, most of the other gnomes came out to join them. Soon the procession of hand carts and happy gnomes laden with baskets and rugs, fishing rods and kettles reached the rivers edge.

The frogs had already agreed to meet in a particularly wet and muddy inlet and were happily hidden in the shade of the long grass as the gnomes set up camp. 'I'll hang the hammocks and set the fire for the kettle', Archibold was rushing about eager to finish so he could limber up for the start of races -  limbering up meant warming up for the race with all sorts of strange lunges and hops and stretches, the frogs of course were ready just as they were. Stephanotis and even Uncle Humperdinck were going to join in this year and as everyone knew, Aunt Mildred, who had been a legend in the leapfrog racing world of her youth, was a stern and very strict judge.

Hortensia smiled as she saw Archibold's enthusiasm, try as she might, she could never understood why anyone would want to leap over frogs in the mud whilst trying to stay on the back of a slimy frog themselves. 'I know you and the frogs love it Darling, but Harriet and I will be very happy to watch from the shore.' Harriet blinked and smiled at her Mother, she was looking forward to when she could join in too, but thought it best to keep her thoughts to herself for a while yet!

Dandelions and fighting talk!

Archibold was sitting in his armchair relaxing and reading aloud from his favourite newspaper, 'The Gnome's Digest', after enjoying a tasty dinner of mushroom stew with herby dumplings. 

Hortensia was resting her feet, (which truth to tell were still recovering from dancing at The Mid Summer Revels), in a bowl of sweetly scented lavender water. She was feeling rather sleepy and in fact was just beginning to doze off when Archibold suddenly exclaimed, ' there I knew it, at last, O'Dophoplus has taken up the cause for Dandelions!' and with that he began to read aloud........

'The humble dandelion - friend or foe?, you see Hortensia, just what I have been saying all along?' Hortensia tried to look interested but was too sleepy to say anything other than a quiet 'really Dear?' That however was quite enough for Archibold who began to read aloud in earnest..... 

' Here goes Hortie, I'll just read the whole article to you, to save you having to read it yourself.' Hortensia loved being read to, especially by Archibold as to her mind he had the loveliest of voices, she just wasn't too sure she wanted to hear about dandelions at the end of a long day. 

Archibold coughed, sat up straight and began, 'The vagaries of human taste are most peculiar - especially with regard to what humans call 'weeds'. Imagine a flower bed full of the riotous joy of dandelions intermingled with ox eye daisies and cornflowers, yet what human would gladly introduce such a thing to their beloved garden?  - Just what I think Hortie, that was a mix we tried in the long field, looked a treat too!' Hortensia rolled her eyes and tried hard to stay awake.

'From a Gnome's perspective, a human's hatred of dandelions is just plain absurd. Compare the humble dandelion with the common, and to humans, most acceptable marigold. Both glorious in bloom, radiant with colour, both upright and of good character in their cheerfulness inducing qualities - but the lowly dandelion is despised and removed in disgust whilst the marigold cherished and nurtured!

As a gnome of many years experience in supporting humans in their efforts to bring an earthly paradise to their gardens, I can truly report that their tastes are often most at variance with the natural abundance that could be theirs for the planting, for what we call The king of Cheerfulness, is much loved by the insect world and by us gnomes, and is deserving of a nobler future!

Toddle pip for now!

Yours in service, Humbert O'Dopholus - author of 'From a Gnome's perspective'

Well Hortensia, what an article, how right he is!' Sadly for Archibold and his enthusiasm, all that Hortensia could manage in reply was a gentle snuffle, for she was well and truely asleep!

'Well, well, nothing for it I suppose, I might as well have forty winks too ' and with that Archibold leaned back contentedly, patted his folded newspaper and fell asleep too!

Fruit jellies and a pink hat....!

Mrs Partridge was experimenting, she had been thinking for days about what to bring as a special treat to The Mid-summer Revels. ' I know it is old fashioned' she thought, 'but there really is nothing as lovely as a cool fruit jelly on a hot summer's day.'

She had a vision of a tray of little gleaming jellies - but what to make them in that was the right size so that they could set - that was the problem. Much to her surprise as she woke up from a mid-afternoon doze in her chair, her eyes alighted on the perfect solution! There across the room - all lined up on the bookshelf, was her collection of thimbles! 'The very thing, right in front of me all the time, well fancy that, I must try them out at once.'

Imagine Aunt Mildred's surprise when, casually looking in the kitchen window - she was of course officially checking on the herbs in the window box - when she saw Mrs Partridge pouring a red liquid into upside down thimbles, which were being kept upright by being tucked into slices of brown bread, and then, put the whole lot into the fridge!

'Never ever seen her cook anything so strange' Aunt Mildred later reported to Hortensia 'can't think what she was up to, most peculiar indeed.' Aunt Mildred prided herself on her cooking (especially her renowned mint humbugs) and often liked to see what Mrs Partridge was cooking in her kitchen, as inspiration for her own dinners.

If she was honest, Aunt Mildred rather liked Mrs Partridge's company in general. Mrs Partridge had very good taste in television programmes, and most afternoons both she and Aunt Mildred would watch television together, though of course, Aunt Mildred was the other side of the patio doors resting in the cool under a geranium leaf. They both liked cookery programmes and had a penchant for a lean young man (young at least to Aunt Mildred) known as Nigel, who had a gnome in the garden off his kitchen where he demonstrated - what Mrs Partridge called 'real cooking with flavour and most tasty too!'

Mrs Partridge herself was very pleased with the results of her jelly experiment. Just the ticket, just tickety boo, they'll never have tasted anything like these! Next I'll try blackcurrant flavour, or maybe even lime?' She had decided to bring chocolate brownies as her cake, mainly it has to be said, because she thought that it could easily be cut into small cubes suitable for gnomes to enjoy as small cakes. 'The size of things is what is tricky, still what an honour it is to be invited, I must do my best to be the perfect guest.'

She had been sorting out a suitable hat and had decided on a salmon pink straw with a large brim which she had last worn for a niece's wedding many years previously. 'Some fresh sweet peas will go very well and look lovely on top and best of all, hide the worst of the worn bits!' It had been a long time since Mrs Partridge had had an occasion to dress up,  'Such fun, I haven't been this excited for years,' she exclaimed out loud after trying on her hat to make sure that it still fit.

Through the window Aunt Mildred smiled with joy, she felt the same way, 'first time in many a long year My Dear, that a human has been part of our lives - and about time too!'

Ivy rope and a pebble invitation......

'Well that really is a good idea Hector!'Archibold gazed in admiration at the ivy rope walk-way that Hector had attached between two branches. They were sitting high up in the old oak tree where they had traditionally built their Helter Skelter ride for the Mid Summer Revels. 'A little risky, but so much more fun! Next I think we should have a suspension rope with ivy leaf seats to sit in, so we can swing down and along to the next level.'

Archibold gasped, he knew that Hector was renowned for his bravery and expertise in abseiling (mainly developed as a necessity,  living as he did on a balcony in a block of flats in a nearby city), but a suspension rope between different branches with seats to swing along in - well, such a thing had never even been heard of! 'Not to worry Archie, I saw it on a TV programme on skiing that I watched through the window, humans use them in them on mountains when they want to get up and down them quickly.'

Archibold gulped, ' you really are very brave Hector, but will ivy rope be strong enough?' Hector grinned a wild grin as he uncoiled from his rucksack a length of old washing line, ' salvaged it myself from a neighbors balcony, the very best there is!' Archibold thought that Hector was looking particularly daring, maybe his years in the city were making his love of adventure ever more dangerous than ever. 'Just think of it Archie, we will go down in gnome history as the builders of the greatest Helter Skelter ride of all time?'

Archie thought to himself that that was just the sort of comment that could lead to disaster, but thought better of saying anything out loud whilst Hector was looking so wild. So they set to working out the best angle and even tried out a few practice runs. 'I think for safety's sake we had best ask Hortensia's advice about the seats don't you think Horatio?'

So that is how it came to be that Hortnsia came home from her evening stroll with baby Harriet to find her kitchen floor covered in ivy leaves, and Archibold and Hector in fierce discussion about the whys and wherefors of suspension hocks!

'Dinner first' said Hortensia firmly, ' no use trying to think straight when you are hungry!' Ad with that she set out a lovely stew of chestnuts and some pease pottage. Once she had grasped what was involved, Hortensia announced that she had just the thing upstairs in her sewing chest and that she would be back soon. Archibold and Hector waited anxiously but soon Hortensia reappeared with her price collection of curtain rings. 'Donated by the old lady when she changed her curtains last year, you can use them, but I want them back safely at the end of the Revels.' Hortensia raised her eyebrow at Archie as he nervously promised to return them.

'Curtain rings are a prize to be treasured, just think of the uses and how precious they are, humans almost always use plastic nowadays and a brass ring is so much better!' Hortensia had ideas of her own that she was waiting to announce. Both she and Aunt Mildred were very fond of their old lady human who lived in the house and garden at the edge of the forest, and this year they were planning to invite her to the Revels. Hortensia knew that most of the other gnomes would be shocked at such a radical idea, but she was determined that having established trust over the past year or so, that this year their friend could come along and be part of such a happy event.

And so one fine summer's morning the old lady, or Mrs Partridge to use her real name, walked out into her garden and saw her invitation carefully spelled out by pebbles on the lawn. The gnomes had made a great effort to make the message clear and in plain English, ' YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO ATTEND THE MID SUMMER REVELS ON JUNE 12th AT TWO O'CLOCK UNDER THE OLD OAK IN THE LONG FIELD. HATS REQUIRED.'

Mrs Partridge almost jumped in shock but steadied herself and spent the next hour rearranging the pebbles with her walking stick replying, ' DELIGHT TO ATTEND, BRINGING HAT AND CAKE.'