Saturday, 8 September 2012

Jeremy and the gnomes.....

Jeremy - for such was the name of Hector's human, found that he could bear his job as a motorbike courier as long as he spent some time relaxing on his balcony when he returned home at the end of the  day. Most of us would find Jeremy quite a dashing figure as he revved about swerving through traffic in his black leathers and gleaming black helmet, the truth was that he was more than a little desperate for a change of job.

Just lately he had found the usual comfort of his balcony a little lonely. He wasn't sure why, his plants were doing well in their big pots, but nothing seemed to be blooming quite as outrageously as usual. Jeremy leaned back in his deck chair, with his boots resting on the brick balustrade and addressed his favourite gnome statue sternly. 'Now you know that I rely on you to look after the plants, this year somethings wrong - our dahlias and sweet peas will never win the Flower Show with such poor blooms.'

He had always talked to his gnome statues, he wasn't quite sure why, but he felt that in some mysterious way, the gnomes looked after his garden. Every Spring he repainted the little statues and placed them about on his balcony garden in between all the pots. He was a bit embarrassed at having gnomes at all, but over the years had become very attached them and no longer cared that other humans thought them in very bad taste.

Unbeknownst to him, real gnomes were in fact, listening. They had just woken up after their long ordeal in trying to reach his flat before daybreak, and had spent the entire day asleep in their hammocks under the leaves. 'Dear oh Dear' thought Hector 'No supper for a bit', luckily all the gnomes had secret provisions tucked into pockets and most of them were sucking on a peppermint or nibbling a biscuit.

Hector was feeling guilty about having been away for such a long time. He could see that his human had done his very best, but the garden was definitely not looking as abundant as it should. 'Dear oh Dear, we will have to leap about and make good, Dear oh Dear'. Archibold was surreptitiously trying to take off a dead leaf and after hearing Jeremy's sad confession, all of the gnomes were taking stock of what had to be done.

Jeremy sat with his mug of tea and for the first time in many months began to feel a sense of peace and companionship on the balcony, 'I expect it will pick up, perhaps a bit of seaweed in the water tonight might help.' And with that he went to fill his watering can from the kitchen tap. The visiting gnomes heard Hector's low whistle of alarm and rushed to roll up their hammocks, stow their rucksacks and leap out of harm's way, before the cascades of water soaked them and their belongings.

'Quite an adventure already' whispered Stephanotis to Isabel as they hid behind a trowel. Isabel giggled, 'what fun we are having.' Hector was relieved that they found it so, he was feeling his responsibilities and was very grateful for a moment to think and plan ahead.


Friday, 24 August 2012

The Last Camp before the City........

The little group of gnomes had stopped for a rest before the ascent into the city. The expedition had been going very well, they had had to made a few detours where new human developments had blocked the old pathways, but overall they had made very good progress indeed. As usual when nearing human settlements, they had tried to find a welcome garden in which to rest and pitch camp. Though they still found humans' perception of what they were supposed to look like more than a bit disturbing, they were cheered up by how frequently they found welcoming statues of themselves in the humans' gardens.

' Perhaps it is partially because of our decision not to be seen any more. After all no human has caught sight of one of us for a very long time, well that is, except for The  Old Lady and her son of course, so how are they supposed to know what we look like? 'Stephanotis was gazing at a brightly coloured statue of a garden gnome with a huge belly and floppy hat, 'it's the noses that are so disturbing, where did they get the idea that we are so ugly, or so badly dressed?' Archibold snorted, ''you could go mad trying to work out how a human thinks, anything they can't understand they tend to destroy or make fun of.' He had never quite recovered his sense of humour about the staues after his work experience at The Blue Bell Garden Centre, where he had found watching humans making fun and laughing at the gnome statues so distressing that he had become overwhelmingly homesick and grumpy for rather a long time.

' Well at least we know that we are welcome and that's enough for me, lets have a slice of boiled fruit cake and some peppermint tea and then we can chose a spot to make camp and put up our hammocks!' Isabel was ever practical and knew that Hector was feeling the pressure of introducing the Forest Gnomes to his city life. Of course he had made lists of topics and useful tips to discuss of an evening after their tea, but he couldn't help wondering if he had been irresponsible to bring his friends to such a strange environment. ' Right you are Isabel, what a good idea, let's finish the fruit cake.' He had an ulterior reason as he had been carrying the cake since they had left the Forest and as everyone knows, boiled fruitcake is delicious, but very, very heavy. ' This evening we will go through  
the way traffic lights work and how to avoid surveillance cameras again.' Some of the gnomes groaned inwardly, Hector was always thorough and a lecture with question and answers could make the delights of bed time seem a long way off.

Soon however, hammocks were swinging from the lower branches of bushes and the gnomes gathered around a small fire for their supper of cheese on toast and barley broth. ' Bed, oh lovely bed' thought Isabel, and with that she clambered in, tucked her blanket firmly around her and settled down for a gentle night of sweet slumbers.

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

The Last of the Packing and the Beginning of the Adventure...

'What a day for an adventure' said Archibold, he and Hector were checking over the supplies and making sure that they had everything that they needed for both the trip and their stay in the Big City. 'Can never have enough rope' muttered Hector 'perhaps we can carry some across our shoulders once we have the rucksacks on?' Archibold looked slightly wild at the suggestion of yet more to carry.

The rucksacks were full to bursting as it was, and they each had their rolled up hammock, plus assorted frying pans, kettles and extra boots all tied on, as well as personal items stowed in jackets and waistcoats, extra hats strung wherever possible - and then of course, there were the seedlings and even two saplings to be carried by hand - Archibold sounded very firm indeed when he replied, 'Hector, we have to stop, we have enough with us for a six month expedition, if we carry any more we won't be able to move properly!' Hector looked up from where he was busily counting seed packets, and had to agree - 'Right you are Archibold, time to go then is it?'

So that was that, well it would have been for a normal camping or fishing trip, but it took at least two hours to separate out who was carry what, before at last the six gnomes stood in a row all ready to go. Hortensia was a bit worried that if either Hector or Archibold sat down or even worse, tipped over, that they might never be able to get up again, but thought better of saying anything. They really were quite a sight, what with their flashing smiles, stripy socks and boots really being all that could be easily seen amongst all their belongings festooned around them.

Eleanora stood side by side with Hortensia, who of course had Baby Harriet in her arms, as all the Gnomes of the Forest gathered either side of the path in a long line to wave good bye. There was much hugging and waving, passing out of mint humbugs, and then suddenly they were on their way. Archibold looked back at Hortensia, winked and bowed low with his hand on his heart, 'Not long my Darling and I will be back'. Hortensia and Harriet waved back as Hortensia, who had been saying a little prayer to the Great Benevolence to look after them on their adventure, touched her heart and gave a little bow back.

Eleanora and Hortensia watched the little procession and just as they were just about to pass out of view, began to sing. They sang of gentle blessings and adventure, of kindness and of the magic of being in between and in the right place all at once. Most of all they sang of their love for their friends and family, and how they wished them a safe trip and happy times until they came home.

Soon all of the other gnomes joined in - even the trees lifted their leaves and rustled and stirred the air - so as the little band of adventurers started out on the green path through the golden field of wheat, the air all around them was full of harmony.



Friday, 20 July 2012

Packing essentials and a pre supper nap!

'Six twists of new ivy rope, extra hats, extra socks, ten large handkerchiefs, foot balm and chest rub, two weeks supply of humbugs, dried apple rings for emergencies - well, well, nearly there, just so much to pack!' Hortensia had offered to help Archibold and Stephanotis and their friends with their packing. Personal items such as trowels and the odd flute or book of sonnets, were being stowed in their waistcoats, belts and large pockets. This left the bulk of supplies still to be packed, or as Hortensia had taken to saying, 'stuffed' into six, really quite small, rucksacks.

'Quite remarkable really' thought Hortensia, ' the hammocks are the biggest items and they are the easiest to pack'. She was carefully checking the strings on each one and then rolling the brightly coloured, stripped hammocks into tight little rolls to be attached to the top of each rucksack.

The excitement was palpable everywhere, gnomes were dropping by Persimmon Heights with gifts of prize collections of seeds, even with extra hand knitted socks - for with the very common curved-big-toe-problem, sturdy socks were not just a useful gift - but downright essential. 'No more cakes please, this is the very last cake that I am going to accept, any extras will have to be carried by hand'. Hortensia for a moment looked rather cross. Stephanotis had arrived with yet another seedy cake from Aunt Mildred to take as supplies. Hortensia of course, had a great belief in the encouragement that a slice of seedy cake could bring to a difficult situation, 'but still enough is enough' she thought as she packed the sixteenth into Archibold's rucksack.

As it was, each rucksack had a bottle of emergency tonic, (a potent herbal cocktail, dark green and more than a little eye wateringly strong, that Aunt Mildred swore cured nearly everything), dried peppermint leaves and rose petals for pots of tea, a blue stone for keeping in contact and various personal items. For instance Hector had a special hair rinse to try and keep his most unruly curls in relative order, so that he could at least get a comb through them on an occasional basis.

'Nothing for it now, I shall have to tell them that all is ready'. Hortensia gathered up Baby Harriet and set off downstairs for a restorative cup of tea, before calling the others for a farewell supper of wild mushroom stew with cheesy mashed potatoes and a fresh watercress salad.

'Tomorrow is the day of departure Little One, tomorrow Papa goes on a big adventure to the City'. Harriet didn't really understand but she could sense that in her Mother's heart there were feelings of anxiety and of course, love.

For the truth was, that most unusually, Hortensia was worried about Archibold's trip away. She had a feeling that things were very different in the City and that the kindness of Archibold's heart and his unfailing courage and zest for adventure would be challenged by what he would meet on his travels. 'Humans' she thought 'are so very different and have little sense of the interconnectedness of the The Great Benevolence. I must speak to Eleanora after supper, perhaps she can help'. And with that Hortensia gathered Baby Harriet in her arms and sitting down in her rocking chair began to gently sing of the rustle of leaves and flicker of sunlight on a Spring morning, before long they were both sound asleep and enjoying a restorative pre-supper nap!




Monday, 9 July 2012

Beauty, humbugs and peace all around.....



'Dum ta dum, tiddle pom, pom, there's work to be done, fiddle pom pom!', Archibold was feeling rather breathless and tired and rather as though he needed a good sit down and rest. He was carrying, or rather dragging a large sapling of a birch tree behind him as he climbed up the hill, it was great relief that he spotted Eleanora sitting by a stately oak tree at one of his favourite look out spots. 'Oh Eleanora, how fortunate', he huffed as he sat down with a thump on the bank beside her - for as all gnomes know - it is considered very rude to pass by another gnome without stopping to pass the time of day.
'Why Archibold My Dear - you look all of a bother, perhaps a humbug might help?' Eleanora offered him a sticky mint humbug from a bag in her pocket. 'I think that perhaps poor Mildred must not be quite herself at the moment, this last batch of humbugs, though excellent to taste, are so very, very sticky'. Archibold mumbled agreement as he made loud sucking noises. 
Humbugs were a staple of the gnomes diet and however sticky this one certainly was - he was already feeling much better. "I think she is still adjusting to humans being a part of her life on a daily basis, that and having to replant her mint garden so that it didn't look so obviously cultivated, well it has all taken its toll on her usual good humour.' Archibold rolled his eyes and nodded vigorously in agreement, he was rather relieved not to have to reply owing to the extreme stickiness of his humbug. Aunt Mildred had even taken to waving her stick in public and was known to be in a generally very bad mood indeed.
The two gnomes sat companionably as they looked out at the fields below. Full of gently waving heads of golden wheat dotted with trees in full glorious leaf - it was indeed a most wonderful sight. 'Look My Dear, just look at how beautiful the path is, so green against the gold',  Archibold smiled with delight, for it was true - the path had been trodden into a vivid green by the feet of all the different gnomes, humans and animals as they had all walked along its welcoming way by the edge of the meadow.

'Feeling much better now' he burped (humbugs have a habit of helping with digestion), must go, have to deliver this sapling before dusk so Hector can demonstrate tree planting'. And with that, Archibold practically bounced away as he was feeling so much better.
Eleanora smiled and waved him on his way. 'Perhaps I will sit just a while longer, so good to feel the great peace all around, so undervalued and yet so essential for the lifting of ones heart'.  She closed her eyes and and from her heart, began to gently hum a little song to herself and to the beauty of the golden twilight all around.


Below is a story from two weeks ago that I accidentally deleted!
Posted: 19 Jun 2012 09:56 AM PDT
So happy to say that this episode, 'Wild strawberries and other delights....' of Horensia's blog, read by Alice is on YouTube:

'Hortensiagnomus9' is where I post the blogs....

'So busy, just so busy' thought Hortensia. She was picking wild strawberries with Baby Harriet, who was helping by eating as many of the little crimson, jewel-like berries as she could safely stuff into her mouth at any one time. 'Do take care Harriet, too many can lead to a funny rash, best leave the rest for jam and dinner!' Harriet burped loudly and decided to gaze at the leaves fluttering in the breeze. 'Such amazing greens this summer' thought Hortensia, 'all that rain has been so good for the trees, I don't think that I remember the trees being so full of leaves for many a season '.

She sat down next to Harriet for a good listen. The trees made different sounds in the breeze, some seemed to roar, some made a fluttering rustle, some tossed their leaves in the air with great freedom - so many rhythms and layers of sound and all in glorious, vivid greens lit up by golden sunlight - 'how very lucky we are Darling - a real treasure of a day!'

Sometimes some of the humans out on their walks, saw the wild strawberries too, mostly they just took a few, but Hortensia was up early to gather a good crop just in case. 'Next stop is the elderflower bush, fritters for tea Darling - Aunt Mildred's favourite!"

Early Summer was a busy time for the gnomes, such an abundance of delights and the beginnings of gathering for the Autumn and Winter ahead. Mostly though, it was the wonderful variety of greens for salads and fresh teas that was causing much excitement - that and the wild garlic!

Aunt Mildred was getting ready to make her most important staple of gnome life - her mint humbugs! There is hardly a day that goes by without a gnome needing to have a little sit down and a think whilst sucking on a mint humbug, they could be relied upon in an emergency and were essential for all celebrations.

The recipe was a secret of course, though in the past, some of the younger gnomes had tried crawling up the bank under her kitchen window - to catch Aunt Mildred in the act of making her very desirable sweets - and to glean the success of her recipe. Aunt Mildred however, was vigilant about the possibility of such naughtiness, and the young gnomes were always caught in the act and sent scampering away with threats of no tea and NO Humbugs!

'How I love summer' thought Hortensia, and with that she and Harriet set off home for a spot of lunch and a wee nap! She was looking foreword to when Archibold and the others returned from their escapade and training day with Archimedes on his island home - and of course - to hearing about all of their wonderful adventures!

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Abseiling, cherry sponge and dreams for the future....

If you would like to hear this as a story, I have posted a clip on the website and on YouTube at, Hortensiagnomus9.....!


'Well good morning Darling', Hortensia winked at Hector as he flew past her window on one of his practice abseils. Hector, though very excited about taking his friends back to his home in the city, was rather worried about their lack of experience - hence the abseiling training.

Hortensia and Archibold were finding having unexpected faces peering into their home, especially at unexpected times - more than a little unsettling. Hortensia in particular had been more than a little perturbed at the squeals and occasional shrieks as the new skills were learnt. 'I worry for them Harriet, it is sometimes a bit risky to become too overexcited!' Harriet of course thought it all sounded great fun and wanted to join in.

'So today is the day for extreme planting skill learning,' Hector stood proudly in front of a collection of young plants. 'Each of you is to chose a plant, a small bag of soil, a flask of water, your trowel - and when you are ready - we will set off!' After a bit of scrabbling and rushing about, Hector surveyed a line of eager and excited gnomes. 'The point of the exercise is to climb to an unexpectedly high place with no recent planting having taken place, and to plant your seedling, and then come back here to report on your progress.'

Hector watched with satisfaction as the gnomes charged off. Most of them had been surveying suitable spots for several days and thinking about how to climb up without damaging their plant, and then of course how to tuck the plant in safely and come back down, within the time allowed. Hector was very busy rushing about shouting encouragement, 'very important to water your plant slowly, you want the water to settle in the roots and not drain away!' He looked with satisfaction as the gnomes returned, they faces were alight with the satisfaction of a Good Deed Done -  a favourite motto for all gnomes and an encouraging sight for the success of their trip ahead.

'Well done! Tomorrow we will practice gutter and drainpipe planting.' the gnomes looked shocked, but Hector had agreed with Aunt Mildred that their friend The Old Lady, loved plants and flowers so very much that they were sure that she wouldn't mind a few additions to her home. 'Very important in the city to find every available space to plant, so that we can encourage and help the humans to remember who they are.'

And with that they all settled done to relive their adventures and to enjoy a nice cup of peppermint tea and a slice of cherry sponge cake.



Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Crumpets and fighting talk.................

'It's a funny thing that humans spend so much of their talking and so little of it listening' Archimedes sucked on his pipe, 'they are a very different species as we know, but similar enough that it can sometimes seem confusing'. The younger gnomes were gathered around, eagerly taking in every word. To be sitting with Archimedes Bonaparte, discussing the future of their mission to the city - well it was a very special occasion indeed.

Horatio had been explaining about mobile phones and how humans seems to like being in constant contact via their telephones and computers. The younger gnomes had been mystified as to why they needed their little communication machines at all. Hence why Archimedes had been explaining some of the differences between humans and gnomes. Horatio, who had just returned from work experience at the Bluebell Garden Centre, was trying to describe what the world would be like without telepathy - a skill most gnomes took completely for granted.

'Most of them are quite lonely in one way or another, disconnected from something they yearn for. One of our most important jobs will be to help Hector create gardens where the humans can remember who they are and their connections to the bigger music'. This was serious talk and Hector stood up with his blue eyes flashing. He continued 'Sometimes they come out of the boxes where they work, to walk into the parks at lunchtime - and then they just sit in the light looking at the flowers and feeling the air as they eat their lunch. Imagine if in your day you only had a little time to listen to the wind in the leaves?'

The gnomes all sat in sad contemplation trying to imagine such a terrible existence.' And that is why my Dears, despite the dangers you must do your best to make every plant, tree, garden and park, a place of natural beauty and abundant growth.' Archimedes winked at Horatio who went pink and sat down with a bump. 'Must be time for tea, I distinctly heard a grumble from Archibold's tummy all of five minutes ago'.

So with much giggling they all headed back to Archimedes' tree top look-out for tea and toasted home made crumpets - sent by Hortensia of course in a basket, safely wrapped up in a tea cloth - still faintly warm and with a pot of her best creamy yellow butter.