Autumn leaves and the making of humbugs......

Hortensia was walking with glee through the amber leaves as they crunched and rustled beneath her feet. 'See Archibold, see how they are all mixed together at last, oak and beech, birch and ash, all in a huge mess of shape and colour', and with that she pounced on Archibold and pulled off his hat, he of course started chasing her and before they knew it, they found themselves very out of breath and right outside Aunt Mildred's front door!

Hortensia thumped the brass button knocker hidden under the ivy, 'I recognise that' said Archibold as he tried to stuff his curls back under his hat, 'what a great find that was - one of my first triumphs!' He had found the old jacket lying forgotten under a hedge at the side of the great field, 'the buttons were a great prize and I think that Aunt Mildred used every scrap of material to make coats and blankets - we were all a lot warmer that winter because it'. Hortensia was thinking out loud, 'I can't imagine why a human would leave such a precious thing behind?' Archibold winked at her as he whispered - 'love' in her ear.

'Humph' snorted Aunt Mildred as she opened the door, she of course had heard everything. Gnomes can hear a mouse fart from fifty paces so a whisper is practically a shout. 'Love indeed, get in here and start pulling!' Hortensia and Archibold rushed into Aunt Mildred's warm and steamy kitchen 'just in time, put on your aprons and start to pull when I say it is ready.'

Uncle Humperdinck smiled a sort of queasy smile, he had been helping since early morning and the strong smell of peppermint had begun to make him feel a bit sick. He was in charge of cutting the long ropes of pulled humbug mixture into the right size to make perfect sweets, so he was standing at one end of the kitchen table wielding an enormous pair of human nail scissors.

Aunt Mildred poured the hot mixture onto her marble pastry slab, she had carefully oiled the marble with walnut oil so that the incredibly sticky mixture just oozed as she gently spread it evenly with her best bread knife. 'Now my Dears start to pull...!' Hortensia and Archibold rushed to stretch and pull the mixture into long ropes, snip, snip went Uncle Humperdinck's scissors and soon there was a pile of Aunt Mildred's luminous, alluring and utterly essential mint humbugs.

It was a great honour to be allowed to help with the humbug pulling and Hortensia and Archibold did their best to work very hard indeed. Soon Aunt Mildred pronounced that all was well, and after a short wait whilst they cooled, the humbugs were carefully stored away in the safest place in the Forest - Aunt Mildred's pantry. ' Well done my Dears, well done - now who's for a cup of tea and a biscuit?' 'As long as it is not peppermint tea' groaned Uncle Humperdinck who had collapsed in his chair by the open window!

Home at last.......

Archibold and Hortensia were sitting on a sunny bank, surrounded by golden leaves gently floating in the crisp air as they fell all around them in the clear morning light. They were out for their first morning walk together since Archibold had returned home. 'I am so glad to have you back', Hortensia was rocking Baby Harriet's basket with her foot to try to encourage her to have a little sleep, but of course Baby Harriet was having none of it and continued to stare happily at the luminous leaves glowing yellow against the clear blue morning sky. 'Such amazing adventures, imagine having to set up camp in a park, Oh Archibold, did you get all the planting done that you wanted to?'

Archibold grinned 'I more than did my bit, and quite frankly my Dear, next on Hector's list was roof, gutter and drainpipe planting - not really my cup of tea!' Hortensia laughed as Archibold explained, 'just now Hector will be leading the expedition out along the edge of a chimney or a perilous ledge, to plant a bit of ivy or a young sapling - I am better off leaving him to it!'

They set off arm and arm together with Baby Harriet snug in her basket on her mother's back, for Hortensia was eager to point out all the new things that had happened in the Forest since Archibold had been away. 'Such mushrooms Archibold, so many and such variety', Archibold unfurled a hessian sack from around his middle, and set to collecting fresh greens, some elder berries and of course, several large mushrooms. Soon the little sack on his back was bulging with delights as they set off home.

Hortensia had been very busy cleaning and polishing their winter home in the old Fir tree. All summer long they had revelled in the freedom and delights of their summer house high up in the oak tree,  but now with the chill in the air and the evenings drawing in, it was definitely time to move back inside.

'Archibold, we just need to bring down the furniture and then we are done. We can move in this very evening!' So just as soon as they were back Archibold set up the pulley, and started lowering the bed and chairs and tables to his sled at the base of the tree, and then pushed and pulled the sled all the way to the Fir tree. 'Just leave them outside Archie, I want to polish them before we take them in.' Hortensia darted about with her duster and pot of beeswax, and soon the furniture gleamed and smelt delicious. 'Ready Darling', so with more than a little huffing and puffing they pulled and pushed the furniture into their home.

'Well, I think that deserves a cup of tea and some flapjacks,' said Archibold, truth to tell he was feeling rather done in, it had been a long walk home and as we all know, furniture moving can be very tiring. As the kettle boiled and Hortensia bustled about spreading butter and jam on toast and setting out cake and flapjacks, the sound of snoring started to echo all around, poor Archibold had collapsed in the rocking chair and was fast asleep.

The truth was out.....

Hector was hanging up his socks on some handy twigs, 'a gentle drizzle the best rinse there is, makes for softer socks don't you see?' he proudly announce to a very out of breath Archibold. Archibold had to agree, soft socks meant less aggravation of tender toes, and that had to be a good thing. 'What's up Archie, you look all of a bother, fancy a cup of tea?

Archibold knew that however bothered he felt, everything would seem better after a cup of tea, so he sat down next to the little fire and watched as Hector boiled the kettle, made a pot of tea in his best red teapot and toasted two thick slices of toast. 'Fancy a bit of jam or honey?' Archibold nodded, how was he going to tell his friend that he was going to dessert him and return home?

The gnomes were hidden from sight behind some large rhododendron bushes in the park, they had taken to getting up at first light to make sure that their fire wouldn't attract attention. 'The thing is, Hector, I just can't bear all this rushing about and having to be so careful to hide all the time, and I miss Hortensia and Harriet more every day!' Well there it was the truth was out and Archibold sat waiting for his friend to reply.

'It's true' said Hector after a while, 'even with our merge and flow skills it can be a strain to keep out of sight, plus you are not used to this way of living, you have, after all lived in the Forest most of your working life. Archibold nodded, slowly a large tear began to trickle down his cheek, 'I am so sorry to let you down Hector - but I want to go home  - now.' Hector looked at his poor woebegone friend, ' it's all right Archie, off you go, all will be well here, there is plenty of us to finish all the planting and you have done more than your share of the work.'

Archibold perked up at this, he knew that he had been working hard, the truth was that the harder he worked the less likely it was that he had time to miss his home! 'Off you go now, I'll tell the others, best be on your way before the sun is up, good luck and I'll see you soon!' The two gnomes hugged and Archibold rushed to stuff all of his clothes and belongings in a terrible muddle into his rucksack and barely rolled his hammock as he slung it by his side. 'Best not forget some provisions!' Hector handed Archibold some biscuits and cheese and some wrinkled crab apples, 'give my love to everyone at home.'

Archibold smiled his most happy of smiles and was gone!

A Dream of Warm Scones and Home!

Archibold was 'busy', seriously busy to be precise, though not necessarily in the way that you or I might understand being busy to be - for Archibold was playing 'chase the leaves'  with a rather large and very friendly dog. " So many leaves and so little time to enjoy them," Archibold waggled his bottom at the dog and then swiftly raced out of reach up a tree as the dog bounced and barked below.

" Perhaps he is getting bit tired, better lead him back to his owner I suppose," Archibold sighed and darting ahead, led the panting dog back onto the forest path " there you are now, go find your owner, we can play again tomorrow," and with that he patted the dog and sent him on his way.

If we are honest about it, I don't think Archibold really thought playing with dogs was serious work, but all gnomes have a soft spot for dogs. In their hearts they know that dogs have a very hard job indeed, as Hortensia frequently remarked, " where would humans be without their dogs - lost and lonely that's what!" So cheering up an overworked dog with a lot of responsibilities, was universally known as a very good deed indeed!

" What a to do," thought Hortensia, "Autumn is such a beautiful season but there is always so much to do." Of course she was thinking about preparing their home for the winter. Both she and Archibold liked to be snug and warm and have lots and lots of useful supplies, like extra fruitcake and crabapple rings and of course firewood and wooly socks and most importantly, not forgetting the extra specially fluffy blankets for baby Harriet's basket.

"Not long now till Harvest Supper, best be out and about and gathering!" Archibold set off at a trot to meet his friend and apprentice Stephanotis. They were planning a harvesting trip and a visit to the Oldest Gnome that anyone had ever heard of, Archimedes Bonaparte. Archimedes lived on an island in the river and was known for his disgusting herbal tea and his wise and useful advice.

Archibold was carrying a basket of fresh scones and a pot of Hortensia's best cherry jam as a present. Smelling the warm scones was almost too much to bear thinking about, so carefully hiding the basket under his seat of the boat, he rolled up his sleeves and taking up his oar, he and Stephanotis set off on their adventure.

"Try not to be too long," called Hortensia " there is so much to do and I don't want to start making the pies without you."

" Pie, lovely warm mushroom pie with cheesy mash and onion gravy, mmmmm" Archibold woke up with a start, " Home, I want to go home!" Suddenly missing the Forest and his family seemed too much to bear, " I'll talk to Hector right now, perhaps I can leave this morning. " Archibold leapt out of his hammock, pulled on his trousers and set off to find Hector in such a rush he forgot to even brush his teeth!

Setting up camp and preparing for the storm......

'Well, well, well, not quite what we expected, but comfy all the same'. Archibold was investigating the possibilities for setting up camp in the branches of the old oak tree. 'Stephanotis and I will take charge of tying up the hammocks - mind you, I can definitely feel rain is on it's way - so, best to be prepared, who's up for organising the canopy?' Isabel jumped up and down with excitement, swinging around in the leaves fixing a tarpaulin (a suitable plastic bag that the gnomes had found abandoned nearby) was her idea of a dream job! 'Come on Hector and Isolde - lets go!'

Soon the gnomes had the perfect camp set up. A lovely, pink and white striped  - and soundly waterproof roof - was securely tied to the branches and overhung their neatly tied on hammocks. Provisions were hanging up inside their rucksacks and blankets were airing on some nearby branches. Archibold wondered if some of the humans realised that the unsightly plastic bag, stuck high up in the tree hid a gnome camp, but decided it was best not to think about it.

Hector was holding his head up and sniffing the air, 'don't know about rain - feels like a storm and windy at that, may have to abandon hammocks if it really blows, up here we will be in for a real roarer!'
The other gnomes glanced at the turning leaves and had to agree. Soon they were dashing about lashing down their belongings and putting on their waterproof capes and hats. 'Oh what fun, we can sing all night'. Isabel was grinning from ear to ear at the prospect, for as all gnomes know - singing, whilst sitting out a storm high up in a mighty tree, was one of the great joys of being a gnome.'

'Best have something to eat before it arrives', Hector was passing out large chunks of cheese with Hortensia's best oak cakes and extra large slices of honey cake. Isabel handed everyone a crab apple for later and emergency supplies of mint humbugs. However cold a gnome could get (which was sometimes very, very cold indeed) a mint humbug could be relied upon to cheer up even the most morose of gnomes and to bring a wiggle back into frozen toes.

'I'm off for a short kip whilst I can, might be an idea for some of you to have a snooze too'. Though Hector was being his usual bossy self, the others knew he was right. Soon, as the branches began to gently sway and a tapping of rain drops began to sweeten the air, the gnomes snuggled down for a pre-storm nap.

Rogue planting and a change of home......

Stephanotis was digging with all his might, trying desperately to finish planting before human activity began. The gnomes were spread out along the side of the railway line at strategic vantage points. They were extremely busy planting shrubs and seedlings, so as to give the humans something uplifting to look at, as they passed by in their trains going to work.

As ever Stephanotis and Archibold were planting Buddleia saplings. Archibold was deeply passionate about  any plant that encouraged butterflies and that had purple flowers. He had such a habit of saying 'Nothing like a Buddleia - can always be relied on for a good show' so frequently, that as soon as he started to say it, the other gnomes finished the sentence for him!

Soon they stopped and gathered together to watch the first of the trains pass by. 'Bit early still' said Hector 'most of this lot will be sleeping on the train'. He didn't want the others to be disappointed if non of the humans seemed to notice their handiwork. He needn't have worried, The Forest Gnomes were mesmerised at the huge noisy trains as they went by, 'very big and noisy, but what a machine!' Archibold was instantly inspired by the idea of long distance escapades. 'We could go to the sea, I mean, we could go anywhere - what fun it would be to go so fast!' All his life, Archibold had wanted to go to the sea side, mostly when he went on escapades he had to go North to see family. Now his imagination was buzzing with possibilities.

'Not just noisy, said Isabel 'but very dirty too'. Hector had raised his eyebrows at Archibold's enthusiasm at the sight of the trains and now tried to rally the others to the job at hand. 'That's it for the day then. Now - time for breakfast!' And with that, the rather hungry gnomes rushed to where they had left their extra tools and other useful items, and of course, provisions for breakfast. Soon they were under the old railway arch, of course sensibly hidden from view by some large bushes.

They all sat around a little fire with the kettle nearly at the boil, eggs frying in a frying pan with some already softened mushrooms on the side. Archibold and Stephanotis were carefully twirling long sticks, as they made toast and Isabel and Isolde spread out the tablecloths on an old stump. Hector came back looking triumphant with some dandelion leaves to add to the mushrooms. Well, what a feast, nothing tastes as good as a picnic outside when you have been hard at work since before dawn. Needless to say, after breakfast, silence descended as they all settled down for a restorative nap (silence that is, except for the occasional snore).

When they woke up, Hector brought up a subject that had been bothering him since they had arrived in the city. 'I know that is good to all stick together, but it is rather cramped on the balcony and we are having to nip about a bit to keep out of the way. What I propose is that you move to the local park, there is a splendid old oak that provides magnificent shelter. Many is the night I have sheltered and listened to the roar of leaves as the wind blew.' He made it sound so wild and appealing that the gnomes overcame their initial disappointment not to be on Jeremy's balcony, and agreed to try making their temporary home from home, in the park.

'So much less likely to be seen, and think of the bird song in the morning', Hector smiled at Isolde, for a young gnome she was showing signs of great character and positivity.






 

Jeremy and the gnomes.....

Jeremy - for such was the name of Hector's human, found that he could bear his job as a motorbike courier as long as he spent some time relaxing on his balcony when he returned home at the end of the  day. Most of us would find Jeremy quite a dashing figure as he revved about swerving through traffic in his black leathers and gleaming black helmet, the truth was that he was more than a little desperate for a change of job.

Just lately he had found the usual comfort of his balcony a little lonely. He wasn't sure why, his plants were doing well in their big pots, but nothing seemed to be blooming quite as outrageously as usual. Jeremy leaned back in his deck chair, with his boots resting on the brick balustrade and addressed his favourite gnome statue sternly. 'Now you know that I rely on you to look after the plants, this year somethings wrong - our dahlias and sweet peas will never win the Flower Show with such poor blooms.'

He had always talked to his gnome statues, he wasn't quite sure why, but he felt that in some mysterious way, the gnomes looked after his garden. Every Spring he repainted the little statues and placed them about on his balcony garden in between all the pots. He was a bit embarrassed at having gnomes at all, but over the years had become very attached them and no longer cared that other humans thought them in very bad taste.

Unbeknownst to him, real gnomes were in fact, listening. They had just woken up after their long ordeal in trying to reach his flat before daybreak, and had spent the entire day asleep in their hammocks under the leaves. 'Dear oh Dear' thought Hector 'No supper for a bit', luckily all the gnomes had secret provisions tucked into pockets and most of them were sucking on a peppermint or nibbling a biscuit.

Hector was feeling guilty about having been away for such a long time. He could see that his human had done his very best, but the garden was definitely not looking as abundant as it should. 'Dear oh Dear, we will have to leap about and make good, Dear oh Dear'. Archibold was surreptitiously trying to take off a dead leaf and after hearing Jeremy's sad confession, all of the gnomes were taking stock of what had to be done.

Jeremy sat with his mug of tea and for the first time in many months began to feel a sense of peace and companionship on the balcony, 'I expect it will pick up, perhaps a bit of seaweed in the water tonight might help.' And with that he went to fill his watering can from the kitchen tap. The visiting gnomes heard Hector's low whistle of alarm and rushed to roll up their hammocks, stow their rucksacks and leap out of harm's way, before the cascades of water soaked them and their belongings.

'Quite an adventure already' whispered Stephanotis to Isabel as they hid behind a trowel. Isabel giggled, 'what fun we are having.' Hector was relieved that they found it so, he was feeling his responsibilities and was very grateful for a moment to think and plan ahead.